“Think It Might Be You?”
Our personal life has been overwhelming for as long as we can remember. It can be draining and it feels like something big is always happening. I think anyone who knows us knows our family life to always be one disaster or disaster in the making after another. I’ve heard the question above before.. “Did you ever think it might be you?” I don’t remember anyone asking me that, but I know I’ve heard it. This idea that if thing after thing after thing could be happening to a single person/family that maybe the issue isn’t with everyone else, but with the person it’s happening to.
And you know what? Yes… Yes, it is me. It is our family. It is because of us. Or more accurately, it’s because we make no apologies for being ourselves. We do not fit the mold. We are not allistic.. We are not abled. We are not straight. We are not the norm. It is because of us not because of what we’re doing wrong, but because others disagree that our lives are valid.
It’s been a hard year. It’s also been an amazing year. It’s hard to explain how something can be amazing and terrible at the same time. We have had great things happen. I started a nonprofit. My spouse came out. We moved into our own (rented) house. We have a clearer diagnosis for the little one. We’ve had an amazing amount of support from friends, family, and even strangers. It has been amazing.
But we’ve had it rough too. Because some people are abusing abusers who abuse.. Because some people are bigot-y bigots who hold on to their bigotry. Because some people are toxic people who try to infect with their toxicity. (That script flip did NOT work.) And these things happen to us because of who we unapologetically are. And we are not going to change to fit the world’s ideas of acceptable. And that means heartache and overload and sleepless nights and tired days. But it also means being ourselves. It means finding actual friends. It means trailblazing.
And I’m ok with that.