The Place I Belong
This is the way all places should be.. This is the place I’ve always wanted to find.. And I feel like I have now, even if for a fleeting moment on our journey. And I found it in the most unexpected place.
For those who know me and are friends with me on Facebook, you’ll probably know that I have gotten into babywearing since Olivia was born. At first, it was an easy way to keep up with the older two while caring for a baby. While it’s still that, I’ve gotten involved in the community surrounding it as well. At first, I just went to meetings/playgroups as a place to have social interaction. I didn’t quite feel like I felt in. I even posted as such in the group. But I kept going. I felt uncomfortable and as summer approached, I worried about whether we’d be able to continue.
You see, the playgroups were chaotic at best even without the introduction of older kids out for summer. So I was hesitant that the boys would be able to handle it. I struggled to handle the chaos. But the first week, I prepared myself and the boys. I did advanced warning. I went over the timeline of what would happen. I promised food (as it’s at a kid friendly food place) even if behavior was a problem because food place=food.
And we went. And there was no meltdown. And we went. And there was no meltdown. And we continued to go. And there were no meltdowns. Well, until today. The location changed for variety. I prepared the boys. I gave ideas of what they could do.. But still chaos in a new location. I’m not surprised there was a hiccup. Daniel was audibly becoming overwhelmed. He was doing things I felt was unsafe with smaller children around. I tried to talk to him, and he was just too overwhelmed. He screamed. And while it was obvious that this was not good, no one tried to intervene or interfere. It was lovely.
We went outside. I just reassured everyone that everything was ok as we made our way. I’m sure many of the kids were scared, but still no one tried to intervene. I did what I could. He got calm enough to go to the family pet to pet it. He calmed down. He did a GREAT job. I’m very very proud of him.
But what I’m more impressed with.. We were able to stay. Everyone was very understanding, or if they weren’t, they didn’t say anything negative. No one made me feel like I’d done anything wrong, nor that he did anything wrong. After it was mostly over, I was asked if there was anything they could do. And reassured they’d offer to do this to any family and they weren’t singling me out. This was great. We were able to stay a little while longer… And it was great. And this is the way groups should be. All groups. For some reason it’s uncommon. But I’m glad to have finally find a place that my family can belong even if only for a couple of years. It gives me hope that we will continue to find such places.