Not Supermom, But Thanks!

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School starts up in a week and a half. There was already a snafu. We’ll call it a snafu, and it’s being corrected. It was handled quickly, but I will not go into that. I bring it up because my first reaction was “Well, damn. Here we go again. I already have to fight for my child’s right to do normal 12 yr old stuff.” I got ready for the possibility of due process. Heck, yesterday, I was even posting in my mom’s group how I was dreading the school year. This sort of possibility is why I was dreading it.

Everyone was reassuring that I could get through anything. Today, again, everyone was reassuring that I was doing a great job as a mom advocate. I will admit that it felt good. I thank every single friend that told me you support my choices and recognize my effort. I even got some Supermom comments. That’s awesome and all.. Except…

I’m not Supermom. To me Supermom is a mom who does it all. And honestly, I don’t do it all.. I don’t even do normal amounts of stuff.. I do near the bare minimum. Yes, I keep up with what my kids want and need and try to make sure they have some of the former and all of the latter. I think all decent parents do that.

For example on not doing it all, I don’t typically do chores during the day despite being a stay at home mom. I usually wait until my husband gets home. This is partially because of initiation issues and partially because of problems shifting from a chore to attend to my kids’ needs. To me, it can wait.

For every day that I’m out socially, I’m at home being a hermit. I can’t do that much social. I just can’t. I do my best to help my little be out often since she loves it. But the sensory, and the social, and the loss of spoons. Yeah, it’s best that I don’t go out daily. I’ve tried it. And I crash after 3 days and stay crashed for a week. It’s good self-care, for sure, but also proves I don’t do it all.

If I was a Supermom, I’d be homeschooling. Yes it’s draining to deal with school issues.. But see above with my social interaction, no way I could get my kids out there regularly enough like they need. I don’t honestly have the executive functioning required. It’s not nearly as difficult dealing with issues that arise than it is to daily work through EF issues to make sure my children are learning. Doing it for the hour after school is rough enough.

In short, the reason I look like I have it altogether and can take on anything is because I don’t push myself unnecessarily and my husband supports this. Things will end up falling by the wayside, but in the grand scheme of things, those are unimportant when compared to what I save my energy for.

I do thank everyone who has been supportive. I appreciate the praise even if I struggle to acknowledge it. I just don’t think I deserve it because what I’m doing is what any good and decent mom would do. And let’s be honest, who wants to be Supermom anyways? It sounds really busy and overloading and gives that image of “Something’s gotta give.” Nope. I’m just a mom and I’m happy with that.

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1 Response

  1. Alison says:

    I’m not autistic but am the parents of an autistic adult daughter and I’m beginning to suspect, wife to a mildly autistic man. It’s great to get your point of view.

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