Far Reaching Implications
This is a vent and processing post so I apologize if it’s incoherent.
As a parent, I take great care when trying to determine what my children should and should not have access to. We have banned YouTube because discussions of profanity was not getting the job done. We have banned a few video games because after exposure to them, the results were very, very aggressive and violent behavior.
So when we banned a game before they ever were able to play it, I thought we were doing all we could. Unfortunately, the Internet is huge (sometimes this is a good thing), and it still seeped in. We went a different route to blocking just about everything and it had been successful. It then took 2 months of highly aggressive behaviors before things calmed down. This was good.
But then a few weeks ago, the next game in the series came out. And the classrooms and hallways were abuzz. And a teacher thought maybe we could give this to him because it could be a great motivator. Told him they’d ask mom. Well, it was too late. Re-exposure by letting him look up the video on YouTube and that weekend was filled with behavior. The week prior at school was too apparently. But then he ran away from home and it took over 2 hours to find him.
Since then we have had a spiral of behaviors. Daily behaviors. Some more or less violent than others. And we’ve now seen it extend to his brother. And we now have two preteens struggling to find their centers again. To get calm and relax and not be worked up.
And as a parent, I’m powerless. Because no amount of talking. No amount of sensory tools. No amount of sleep. Nothing can shake the feeling of round after round of meltdowns that must roll through your body when it is triggered. I know from experience.
And it saddens me because this was avoidable. The ban wasn’t put in place because I don’t want my kids to see violence. The ban wasn’t put into place because I think you need to squash all perseverations. The ban was put in place because it triggers feelings and emotions that my kids are not currently equipped to handle.
I’m so deeply saddened because I didn’t cause this and now must watch them as they come down off an enormous trigger. I hope the lesson slips in on why I do things as a parent.