Allistic Neurobigotry and Manipulation in Autistic Space
TW: Mention of physical abuse, Neuro bigotry, CN: Explicit language
First, let’s define neuro bigotry. Simply put, neuro bigotry is prejudice against neurodivergent people. I want to talk about allowing a specific kind of person in autistic space. These are allistic people who say they are autistic. Let’s not dilute this discussion into ‘gatekeeping.’ We’re talking about people who show clear behavior patterns that autistic people can’t do because we have a social and communication impairments. If you do not have a social or communication impairment, please do not say you’re autistic. We are disabled. Our social and communication differences are an impairment in society. This is the social model of disability. This is not a positive or a negative on us, but the way that society and our differences interact. Full stop. Again, don’t dilute the discussion.
So.. allistic people they’re in our spaces, they’re claiming our identity, and they’re manipulating us. And we need to stop allowing it. I know it’s scary to call someone out about not being autistic. We have all had people suggest we’re not autistic.. or we’re ‘high functioning’.. or we don’t know what it’s like for ‘my child.’ These people are neuro bigots as well. But just because they’re neuro bigots doesn’t mean you shouldn’t call out allism when you see it abusing you.
Let’s be clear. I’m not talking about people who we don’t know or that speak well or any of that nonsense. No, I’m talking about people who gaslight us in ways that only allistic people can. I’m talking about people who get wandering autism (ie, autism comes in and out of their brain as is convenient for them) only claiming autism to garner pity, or silence, or excuse their transgression with no attempt to make amends.
Why don’t we want to give these people the benefit of the doubt? Would you give a person who has been accused of beating their domestic partner the benefit of the doubt? Of course not. They’re abusing another person. We shouldn’t allow it with allistic fakes. Let’s be clear, I’m saying they’re abusing us if they’re claiming our experiences as their own and then using it to manipulate us and excuse their transgressions.
Does this mean we want to accuse anyone who fucks up of not being autistic? NO! I am talking about using our pattern recognition skills to see that these people are behaving in allistic ways over and over and over again. Taking someone’s word for it when their behavior (remember, behavior is communication even in allistic people) says the exact opposite is harmful to you. It’s harmful to your community. Call it out and don’t feel shame. This is not engaging in neuro bigotry, it’s preventing further abuse.
Don’t let your wavering doubts because of other neuro bigots to allow you to second guess, to gaslight you into believing because this person is lying about their neurology that you are. That’s not happening. You are still autistic even if someone else is a liar. Own your neurology. Trust your autistic brain. You know it’s wrong to allow these people to stay.