TMI?

Recent discussions have been going on at The Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism. I love the people over at TPGA and was happy to read along all week. The fact that I knew people involved in both the posts and discussion probably didn’t hurt a whole lot either.

The discussion started over something Robert posted on his blog, then Zoe responded on her blog. To me, it doesn’t really matter how the whole thing started as I think open dialog between the parent Autism community and the Autistic community is a good idea, especially since I reside in both camps.

However, when I finally found Rob’s twitter account I was surprised to see, we live in the same town! Many of you may have not noticed, but I don’t regularly publicize where I live. Most of you know I’m in Texas, most should know I’m in the Dallas-Ft. Worth Metroplex. But with a landmass the size of Connecticut and a population size more so, that means I could live in quite a few places.

Some jokes were made about the situation I was presented like the insistence that we’d run into each other at the supermarket. I was just trying to prove them wrong by showing how Rob and I don’t live near each other. At just over a quarter of a million people, that should be quite easy, no? I found out I was wrong.

Not only did we live near each other, we live exceedingly close to each other. So close that it’s possible (actually highly highly probable) that we ha already run into each other and just didn’t know who the other person was! If our kids were slightly closer in age, they would even be at the same school.

This has already unfolded on both my link above and onThAutcast which is why I have little qualms stating it here at this point.

All of the above along with my own feelings of guilt that I knew where he lived but he didn’t know where I live lead me to send him the email that’s mentioned in the above two links. But it’s lead to me wondering…

How much information is too much information? I now regret the fact that I told him. I also regret looking him up. As soon as I learned where he lived, the discussion going on online ceased to be among anonymous people. Would I change anything I’ve said? No way. I own my words. I can get embarrassed or regretful, but what I have said and done is what I believed to be the right course of action at the time.

Was this an invasion of Rob’s privacy and that of his families? I don’t know, but I do know it was not seen as appropriate to him or even most of my closest Autistic friends. And what do I do now that everything has blown up?

I don’t particularly know what to do.. I’m afraid to go to the store out of fear of running into Rob and his family. This is part of my own disability. I have leanings to be agoraphobic, period, so having something like this happen in my own backyard so to speak makes me even more so. I don’t expect him to do anything rash, nor myself. But there is already tension and I hate tension and tension leads to anxiety attacks.. So if I see Rob (or more appropriately when I see him), will I have an anxiety attack in front of him? I certainly hope not, but it will probably happen, or I’ll do my best to avoid him.

Seeing as my husband knows everything going on, he will most likely try to be supportive of me no matter what happens. So hopefully he’ll be at my side when I do eventually see Rob, unless we decide to meet each other and it not happen by random chance. I’m really afraid of that random chance though.

So this is what happens when you have access to too much information and give out too much information. Hopefully things will fall in place together, but for now, I sit and read and try my best to stay inside because my fear is too great.

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