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	<title>AS Parenting &#187; chaos</title>
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		<title>Now We&#8217;re Cooking&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://www.asparenting.com/2010/01/27/now-were-cooking/</link>
		<comments>http://www.asparenting.com/2010/01/27/now-were-cooking/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Jan 2010 22:26:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>SicherndeSeele</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chaos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safety]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.asparenting.com/?p=258</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>Until about 18 months ago,  I never cooked.  My repertoire consisted of breakfast foods &#38; I was lovingly dubbed &#8220;The Frozen Food Queen&#8221; by my family.  I could bake up a storm, but if it wasn&#8217;t microwavable or came in a box that required nothing more than opening a can of tuna&#8230;it was not going to appear on anyone&#8217;s plate.</p>
<p>The reasons for this were many:</p>
<ol>
<li>My grandmothers both made me baker&#8217;s helper from the time I could walk.</li>
<li>My mother always shoo&#8217;ed me out of the kitchen while cooking.</li>
<li>My mother was terrified of us kids even making a sandwich with a butter knife.</li>
<li>My mother&#8217;s OCD tendencies did not allow for us to leave a crumb in sight.  (Funny, I married her male counterpart, huh?)</li>
<li>I could not possibly conceive of having more than one thing &#8220;going&#8221; at a time.  It seemed like utter chaos to me.</li>
</ol>
<p>I should mention that the chaos thing follows me.  I have the Chaos Arrows tattooed on my right arm.  It is ever-present in my life.  I can NOT function in chaos.  I shut down.  I need order, but I have a hard time keeping order.  The minute I get a hint of things (house, work, kids) getting out of order, instead of fixing it, I shut down and then it becomes a mountain.</p>
<p>But enough about all that&#8230;That&#8217;s just background.  Here&#8217;s what I REALLY wanted to talk about.</p>
<p style="text-align: center"><strong>What Do You Do When Your AS Munchkins Start Cooking &#8211; Unsupervised?</strong></p>
<p>About 18 months ago I started cooking.  The kids were coming to Germany.  I got re-married.  I wanted to take care of everyone.  Turns out, I&#8217;m kinda good at it.  I treat it like a puzzle.  I LOVE puzzles.</p>
<p>So does Max.  Max and I are very much alike in many ways.  The whole order/chaos thing.  Well, there are a lot of parallels&#8230;</p>
<p>From the time he was born, Max was always very deliberate.  When he was 2 &#38; Madison was 3 1/2 we went to the swimming pool at our hotel.  I would not let go of Madison, but Max didn&#8217;t worry me.  He watched every step and I knew he wouldn&#8217;t accidentally fall in.  Madison, on the other hand, would watch everywhere BUT where he was going.  (He still does!)</p>
<p>Max has started cooking.  He&#8217;s a regular Egg-Aficionado!  He&#8217;s woken me up to a plate full of delicious eggs.  I&#8217;ve asked him not to cook while Mommy isn&#8217;t there to watch, but tonight I realized he&#8217;s still been doing it.</p>
<p>I went to get eggs for the dinner I was making and we were out.</p>
<p>I am completely overcome with pride and absolute fear at the same time.  Pride because he loves doing it and feels good about it.  Absolute fear because if something went wrong &#8211; Max would shut down.  Just like when the TV comes on too loud on a static channel.  Suddenly, he can&#8217;t find the remote.  He can only clamp his hands over his ears &#8230;</p>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Until about 18 months ago,  I never cooked.  My repertoire consisted of breakfast foods &amp; I was lovingly dubbed &#8220;The Frozen Food Queen&#8221; by my family.  I could bake up a storm, but if it wasn&#8217;t microwavable or came in a box that required nothing more than opening a can of tuna&#8230;it was not going to appear on anyone&#8217;s plate.</p>
<p>The reasons for this were many:</p>
<ol>
<li>My grandmothers both made me baker&#8217;s helper from the time I could walk.</li>
<li>My mother always shoo&#8217;ed me out of the kitchen while cooking.</li>
<li>My mother was terrified of us kids even making a sandwich with a butter knife.</li>
<li>My mother&#8217;s OCD tendencies did not allow for us to leave a crumb in sight.  (Funny, I married her male counterpart, huh?)</li>
<li>I could not possibly conceive of having more than one thing &#8220;going&#8221; at a time.  It seemed like utter chaos to me.</li>
</ol>
<p>I should mention that the chaos thing follows me.  I have the Chaos Arrows tattooed on my right arm.  It is ever-present in my life.  I can NOT function in chaos.  I shut down.  I need order, but I have a hard time keeping order.  The minute I get a hint of things (house, work, kids) getting out of order, instead of fixing it, I shut down and then it becomes a mountain.</p>
<p>But enough about all that&#8230;That&#8217;s just background.  Here&#8217;s what I REALLY wanted to talk about.</p>
<p style="text-align: center"><strong>What Do You Do When Your AS Munchkins Start Cooking &#8211; Unsupervised?</strong></p>
<p>About 18 months ago I started cooking.  The kids were coming to Germany.  I got re-married.  I wanted to take care of everyone.  Turns out, I&#8217;m kinda good at it.  I treat it like a puzzle.  I LOVE puzzles.</p>
<p>So does Max.  Max and I are very much alike in many ways.  The whole order/chaos thing.  Well, there are a lot of parallels&#8230;</p>
<p>From the time he was born, Max was always very deliberate.  When he was 2 &amp; Madison was 3 1/2 we went to the swimming pool at our hotel.  I would not let go of Madison, but Max didn&#8217;t worry me.  He watched every step and I knew he wouldn&#8217;t accidentally fall in.  Madison, on the other hand, would watch everywhere BUT where he was going.  (He still does!)</p>
<p>Max has started cooking.  He&#8217;s a regular Egg-Aficionado!  He&#8217;s woken me up to a plate full of delicious eggs.  I&#8217;ve asked him not to cook while Mommy isn&#8217;t there to watch, but tonight I realized he&#8217;s still been doing it.</p>
<p>I went to get eggs for the dinner I was making and we were out.</p>
<p>I am completely overcome with pride and absolute fear at the same time.  Pride because he loves doing it and feels good about it.  Absolute fear because if something went wrong &#8211; Max would shut down.  Just like when the TV comes on too loud on a static channel.  Suddenly, he can&#8217;t find the remote.  He can only clamp his hands over his ears and rock.</p>
<p>I want to foster EVERY SINGLE THING he is good at.  I don&#8217;t want him to get hurt.</p>
<p>Is my own need for control stifling him?  Or am I just being a cautious parent?  Thoughts?  Ideas?  Compromises?</p>
<p>*NOTE: I realized halfway through that I had neglected to state the ages of my kids.  Morgan is 14, Madison is 13 and Max is 11.</p>
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