Stop Making Things Harder

This weekend, suddenly, it hit me how bad things have gotten. I’m beyond stressed and functioning at the bare minimum. I’ve started this blog post 5 times over the past week and a half in different iterations. I hope I get through it this time. The problem is that my ability to focus on my own thoughts is completely shot. But what’s going on?

Well, lots of things are going on. We’re starting on the 4th week of school. Last week we’ discovered that one child isn’t getting the supports he needs. We’re going to have to change his accommodations in his IEP. For whatever  reason the other was not assisted to find the source of problems in his extracurricular activity. As a result, he will not be participating the way originally expected. And 2 weeks later, we’re discovering that our 2 yr olds speech issues were likely all because of a lip and tongue tie.

This is on top of the fact that was basically out a week while antibiotics killed the infection plaguing my wisdom teeth. Out another week with a cold we picked up at the hospital during the little one’s surgery. Many of our household chores not getting done because of everyone’s shift in schedules. And of course, general life things that happen when your daily available time is reduced by over half.

I was handling the latter set until the former set started becoming apparent. And in this sense, people are making things harder than they should be. It doesn’t take much to make sure a student writes down his homework assignments. You just need to check the agenda you provide, yes? So each teacher now has to initial that he wrote his assignments down. Except, that doesn’t seem to be helping in Language Arts where the teacher doesn’t “like” her students to use graphic organizers “because.” I tuned her out at that point. Let’s be frank. There’s no reason to say she doesn’t like something written as an accommodation in an IEP. Her opinion doesn’t matter when law says she has to do it.

And extracurricular? Yeah. I believe in listening to a person when they say they don’t like something, but when that something isn’t actively hurting them.. Well, I also believe in finding out what they don’t like about it. And then coming up with solutions, so that they don’t have to stop something they actually do like, but dislike certain aspects. This didn’t happen. But it took too long to address… So the things that he needed to learn didn’t happen… And with the activity only lasting 2 months, 3 weeks make a HUGE difference on participating. It’s unrealistic to catch up now even if you did come up with solutions and he wanted to continue.

As for the little one’s speech? Well, her SLP is now talking about her attention. She doesn’t feel it’s where it should be. I’m not sure I agree. During a meeting today, I wore her on my back, handed her a book, and she sat there for the entire 20 min meeting without fussing just looking at her book. But I now have to think about it. And whether I want a communication board despite her having some functional words, and gaining more daily from her surgery to revise her lip and tongue tie. Do I want to take her to storytime? And where? (I have figured this part out.) How do I weigh that with my need to not be out and about daily? Especially right now while I’m stressed? And does attention span of a 2 yr old really matter? Or is it just making things harder with no real effect on the future?

My sensory system is shot. My ears are constantly hurting. (No, not an ear infection. This is typical when I have sensory overload.) I’ve been feeling cold far more easily. Then my sleep is wrecked, which makes my sensory system and stress worse. I’m hoping that things get better. I hope people stop making things harder than they have to be. It’s hard when stress comes from people and things you cannot control but still need to monitor. I’m hoping some of the self-care steps we’ve taken at home mean that I can reduce the stress enough to fix what I can fix and then drop the rest.

Photo by Alan Cleaver

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