Jun
27
I hate having to do this, but after searching and searching, I feel it is needed. I have had people ask me some worthwhile resources for parents on the spectrum. I’ve also been doing my best to find reliable sources to draw from to help build some concrete articles. Instead, what I’ve found is not only inaccurate, in many cases, down right brutal. Take an excerpt from an article in USAToday from 2007
Though professionals use the same diagnostic criteria, interpretations make for wide disparities in diagnosis. Ami Klin, head of the Yale Developmental Disabilities Clinic, says some people may have family members with autism-spectrum disorders and exhibit features of Asperger’s, such as “social deficits and a great deal of rigidities,” but these traits are not tantamount to the diagnosable condition.
Forming close friendships and dating run counter to Asperger’s adults’ goals, colleague Tsatsanis says; Klin says he has never known a parent with Asperger’s.
Bryna Siegel, director of the Autism Clinic at the University of California-San Francisco, concurs that an Asperger’s parent would be rare, and she knows of just one short-lived marriage. Recently she does more “un-diagnosing” than diagnosing, she says.
Most if not all have also heard of FAAAS and CADD (or the Cassandra Effect) that suggests that Asperger’s partners (and parents) deprive their partners of affection. As well, it is said we apparently seek out socialites in hopes of them being our mentor. [An aside. They should really meet my husband to see how he works into their frame work. He's hardly social!] Even Tony Attwood has in previous conferences suggested we are abusive, leave our children embarrassed or unloved, and that our children will hate us.
From my experience with my children, and the few Asperger’s parents I’ve met, this is in no way accurate. I’m sure there are people within our group that are this way, as there are neurotypical people who are also abusive and neglectful. To characterize us, in my humble opinion, as liars [USA Today], neglectful [FAAAS] and abusive [Attwood], is not only cold and heartless, but also cruel and hurtful.
(to be continued….)
’tis very hard to find any resources for aspergic parents on the net ; spent yesterday on the ‘phone to various adult support groups for those with asperger’s and was told by all they’d never had a query from an aspergic parent before ! was somewhat confused by this …
I agree with what you have to say… As a Parent with Asperger’s (29 yrs. old and recently diagnosed), I have found it difficult to find information geared toward Aspie Parents and what I did find was exactly what you mentioned… I feel I am very attentive to my son (who is also most likely an Aspie; he is on a wait list to be diagnosed. He is almost 6 yrs. old). I feel like I know what he wants and needs with out him having to say anything. He reminds me of myself when I was a child, and I know how difficult it was for me, so I find that I am very sensitive and aware of him. I don’t want what I had to go through happen to him. Yes, I can get overwhelmed and stressed more so then a NT by my son, but I feel I am more in tune with him then a NT person is. I am also currently in a “battle” with the Ministry of Children and Families… as my son is not yet diagnosed and they have attributed his “behavior problems” as “Bad Parenting” I have read some articles on the web stating the same thing…
Here is one article I found. It is from the Uk, but I believe this to be happening all over the world.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3687612.stm
Here is a article I found that relates to what you have to say about most articles/ info stating that Apie Parents are “bad”.
http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2010/09/parents-with-asperger-syndrome.html
Thank you very much for the links. I have went even further trying to find positive resources since I first wrote this blog. So far, I’m still finding mainly negative sites. I was shocked especially to find a government health website in Australia who pushes these misrepresentations! Feel free to read it, you have to scroll down a bit to find the part that details the parenting experience and it relates to marriages. http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Asperger_syndrome_and_adults
I have found some positive sites foe Aspie Parents! Here are the links:
http://aspiemama.blogspot.com/
http://cap.autistics.org/
hope you find these useful.
I have had some recent experiences with Dr. Siegel and her low opinion of people of Asperger’s. Does anyone else have any information to share?
I’m concerned that she is likely to set parental expectations too low. If my mother had been convinced I was unlikely to live independently, let alone earn college degrees and do skilled volunteer work, I would’ve been denied these opportunities. I could’ve used more support earlier in life, but not shackles.
Thank you for trying to find positive info about parents with Aspergers. I am a mother to one beautiful 4 year old girl, who is the center of my universe. In fact, she is currently, sitting in my lap while I type this. I was just recently formally diagnosed with Aspergers and am appalled at the lack of positive info about Aspergers parents.